23-year-old son refuses to attend father's anniversary party with his stepmom due to 10 years of being second-best to stepsiblings, his dad demands a second chance: 'I am being villainized by multiple people'

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 7, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Relationships with our parents waver throughout our lives. It's not something steady and stable; the roots it has will forever be embedded in our hearts, though the leaves and wines will change over time. From our earliest memories, we start to build attachment styles not only to them, but to the rest of the world. They predicate all the relationships we'll have the rest of our lives. In the story below, there's a sadness surrounding the idea of family for the narrator that makes him feel like he's at a cross roads. One on hand, he wants to have the relationship with his father that he's now offering, and on the other hand, he's been burned too many times in that department to take it all very seriously. 

His father has always excluded him - from weddings, family vacations, and events. How's he supposed to feel after being kicked out for graduating high school? He leaves to go live with his mom, triggering his father. 

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  • 01

    AITA for not going to my dad’s 10 year anniversary party who didn’t let me go to his wedding when I was 13?

    Cheezburger Image 10550445568
    via Ivan Samkov from Pexels / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I'm 23 now, but when I was 13, my dad got married to my step mom and said it would be a "no kids" wedding. That for some
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 03
    reason included me, but didn't include my 14 and 16 year old. step siblings who got to go. I wasn't a bad behaved kid at ALL. I
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 04
    was shy and afraid of doing anything wrong, did well in school, and no doubt would've been perfectly respectful.
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 05
    The wedding was the start of it, after that I started getting excluded from so many things. Every “family” vacation they went on I didn't get to go on, even
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 06
    though I lived with my dad. They'd go out to eat or do stuff together, and I was a lot of the time left at home or not even told. When we went shopping,
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 07
    my step siblings got what they wanted. I vividly remember this specific time that really hurt me where my stepbrother got
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 08
    Happy birthday display
    via DragonImages / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    multiple pairs of really nice shoes at the mall, and I asked for just one pair of Nikes. My dad said no, then took me to Walmart and
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 10
    picked out a cheap pair for me which I didn't even get to choose. (You can imagine how brutal christmas was with the gift differences)
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 11
    Not even a week after I graduated high school, I was kicked out. My stepbrother who was older than me was still living
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 12
    at home, and my step sister got to move out when she was ready at 20. When I was kicked out I stayed with my mom for a bit,
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 13
    and that's when my dad suddenly acted like he cared. He said stuff like "I did so much to protect you from her" "How dare you" "I
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 14
    fought in court for you” “She lost custody of you for a reason" and guilted me for staying with her.
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 15
    Since then, I haven't talked to him much. But a few days ago, he messaged me saying he missed me and wanted me to come to
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 16
    his anniversary party. I said no. Now him his wife, and other family members are calling me ride, ungrateful, and selfish among other things.
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 17
    I am being villainized by multiple people, and it's honestly making me question myself. Im questioning if i'm wrong for not
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 18
    Graduation
    via skynesher / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Have you ever felt excluded in your family? It's never easy being the black sheep. Feeling like you're on the outside when you're with people is what isolates people. Years and years of exclusion can have severe effects and make interpersonal relationships difficult.

  • 19
    wanting to go because of stuff that happened years ago and if it's unfair of me to not give him another chance and go to this
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 20
    party. I'm asking for honest opinions, AITA for not wanting to go to the party or have a relationship with my dad?
    via u/ChipPlent
  • 21
    PotatoMonster20 • 9h ago NTA The wedding wasn't great. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
    via u/PotatoMonster20
  • 22
    But the bigger problem is that he's been ignoring you and treating you as a second class family member since then.
    via u/PotatoMonster20
  • 23
    You haven't had a father in a long time.
    via u/PotatoMonster20

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family drama drama toxic siblings stepmom family feud relationships wedding lol love family reddit thread red flag Reddit funny money dating
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